Domestic female cat, black and tigerlike
Date of Birth: Maio de 1999; Data do óbito: 28 de Janeiro de 2001

I can't let Sasha memories go away so I want her to be part of this small project . I've always had pets: dogs, cats, birds... All I could adopt and was OK for my parents. They never said a big «no» to my ideas, because we have a farm a little bit to the north, at Tomar. So, those who couldn't be at home were in the farm.

Because all of this, when I get married and moved to our home I felt the need to adopt an animal. And I always preferred a cat. My passion for these iluminated spirits had always overcome the love for all other animals. Iniatilly the hardest thing was to convince Paulo. He never have had a cat and always have heard those popular ideas: a cat betrays, never recognizes the owner... All crap!

One day I arrived at the bank and one colleague who knew this passion told me: «Carla, in my street lives a cat that had recently a litter. She doesn't have a owner so the most likely is that she and the babies die» OK. The pieces were matching together. So I arrived home and said: «Paulo, Elsa told me...» And he answered: «Ok, you will never stop to try convince me... Ok, we can have one...» It seemed I never have had a pet. Nowadays, Joana reminds of me then when she gets a new toy. Days seemed never pass, so that I could get the kitten as soon as possible. I bought the WC, the bed, food, toys, everything...

Another day, when I left work a little bit late, Paulo picked me up. About 23:30 my mobile phone rang. It was Elsa. «Carla, some kittens have already left near their mother, do you want to pick yours?» We changed our direction towards Odivelas. We arrived there and the most difficult thing to do was choose. I wanted all, they were so beautiful, yet babies (they were not yet one month old), but since Paulo said yes so quickly I let him choose. He picked the smaller one. She was very little, grey and brown. small black spots in the tummy, and tigerlike. I loved her since the first minute. That was the first day of July 1999. 19 days before my anniversary. What a gift!

That weekend we went to the vet, I become member of União Zoófila and doctor Cláudia told me she was a girl. It was fine. Paulo wanted a male, but I could have a GIRL! And Paulo started to like her more each day. Sasha was a very sweet cat, very sociable. She loved to walk in the street and went with us everyplace we go even if it was just for the weekend.

Meanwhile, I got pregnant and she knew it before me. Sasha always lied down next to me while I was seated but from a particular moment started to go over my belly. When my conditon was public people started to say I shoulg get rid of Sasha. «And now? You must give Sasha to another person, a cat in the house is too much dangerous.» But I always answered: «Yes? Nevermind. I've always had pets, I always have been with them in the street and here I am. It will be good to her, she will grow up with animals and will learn to respect them. She will have a friend in the house, Sasha is my oldest daughter!» Unfortunely, not everybody thinks as we do...

Everything was going great until...

She was about to celebrate her first anniversary when suddenly started to lose weight. She started to drink more water day by day, and was peeing outside the box... We went to the vet. Doctor Claúdia asked us to go to Hospital Veterinário da Estefânia, recently inaugurated, because União Zoófila didn't had the correct equipment to do the tests. It was detected a kidney insufficiency and an anemia...

«What is happening? How can it be? Sasha is one year and a half old, she had been in constant vigilance, her vaccines are up to date, never had been ill...» I could not speak. Doctor Luís was speaking and I was not hearing, tears were all over my face. I didn't understant. «It can be cured? What can I do? I am seven months pregnant, can this me contagious to me and Joana?» (I'm imune to toxoplamoses, I think there was no risk to us, but we never know...)

The only thing Sasha was doing was looking at me with that big eyes of her, sad for seeing me cry. She was talking to me. I swallowed the tears and said: «Spend whatever it takes, I don't care about the money, I want my cat as she used to be. But I must warn you. I don't want any experiments with my little girl. If she is pain please stop with it. You must promise me.» As you can imagine, we needed the money because Joana was about to born, but at that moment I didn't care. It was January, 24 of the year 2000. A Wednesday.

At that time, I was working at Avenida Duque de Loulé, in Lisbon, near to the hospital. When I arrived there it was already 15:00. I couldn't work. In the following days, my whole life was reduced to go to the hospital beforeand after work. I never cried so much in my life. Doctors were starting to be concerned with me. I was very, very pregnant..

Everything was against Sasha. She was very weak. I took her the duck-toy she loved... She was beeing fed with serum, couldn't stand on her feet, didn't want to eat. I tried to fed her myself... and cried. The doctors detected her a serious calcification in the bones. No one knew what was happening. Her file was already in the medicine university (Faculdade de Medicina Veterinária). What they always told me was that this problem would be understandable in a older cat.. I wanted my girl healthy, happy, jumping and playing as she used to do.

Sunday 28 I received a phone call at about one o'clock in the morning. When I saw the hospital number in the display I couldn't answer, I gave the phone to Paulo and thought:: «She died!» But no. They did another X-ray, another eco, and discovered a tumour in the right leg (where our shoulder is, more or less). If it was benign she wouldn't get through the surgery, and if it was malign she would be suffering until the end. I asked God so many times what have she done, what have I done to deserve this.

We gave our permission to a biopsy and said that next sunday we were there again. Nobody wanted me to go, but I needed to say goodbye to Sasha. «Don't do that to me!»

Biopsy result was: malign. There was nothing more we could do. That tumour was the cause for kidney failure, anemia, weight loss... DAMN YOU! And then I did something that nobody expected I would do. «If the disease is rare, and the university is already studying this case, keep the body, study, and help other animals. You will keep the body, but I will keep her spirit with me, and her memories of the short time we passed together.»

I will never forget doctor Nuno's words, when I thank him for all they did to save Sasha. «It's easier to us to be good doctors when we deal with good owners like Carla..» It didn't reduced my pain, I know I did all I could, but it was not enough.

January 28 was never forgotten. We will always remember the last seconds we passed crying next to her. I asked her to behave when she arrived in heaven and waited for us. Her photos are still spread by the house. When Joana looks at them she says «Tata» and all January 28 is a candle burning all night near the pictures.

Goodbye, Sasha, we will never forget you! Between all my four-legged friends, you were the special one. I still think about you. I still wait your presence behind the door when I arrive home. I still feel your smell when I pick your duck...

Carla Machado

Lisbon, January 2003